Crashlikelove!

testing

2010-03-04T13:15:00.001+08:00

going away

2008-01-01T00:07:00.000+08:00

my seven-month stay here is at its final full stop. =)
see you at redjacketlove.

"when the sun is highest"

2007-12-31T20:18:00.001+08:00

i woke up super duper early today, just to go meet darney at 9am sharp. and boy, do i have a real good sense of timing because i reached his house at exactly nine am. =D

i fell asleep while waiting for him to get ready to go out -_-

in the end, he went downstairs to make bread with ham and melted cheese on top with scrambled eggs. =3 ate while watching flightplan. watched it before with darney in the cinemas when it was showing. it's a really good movie. =D

after that, we headed to hougang mall and walked around a bit. except, i kept having stomachaches. most probably due to the milk that i drank at his house. i think i'm getting more and more lactose-intolerant. ugh

didn't buy any shoes in the end. the one pair of red shoes that i wanted didn't have my size. rah! we decided to head back to darney's because we were both having headaches. xD got ice blended passionfruit while darney got lychee snow blend before we took a bus back. we both started coughing together because our cough got aggravated by the bubble tea xD

bought potato chips! hahaha, the seaweed potato chips tasted funny. like, it tastes good sometimes. but when you sort of ''realise'' that it's not very good. it starts to taste funny and then nice again. ey, i give up trying to explain. and then it got me thinking about who invented the words 'funny' and 'weird'. random thought. -_- don't ask why. there never will be an answer to why i have random thoughts like that or why i tend to go out of point in conversations. =\

im a misunderstood girl.
oh and you know what? that si darney. he said i don't have the hokkien accent to make chao chee bye vulgar enough. kept mocking me. oh wait! that's good. because that means i'm not ah lian-ish! xD ah lians swear with good hokkien accents. heehee

anyway! i watched i am legend at darney's house today. it was so saddening and scary. like seriously. to live in a huge city that's swarmed with people who are infected by a virus that causes them to display vampiric traits is so not cool. not to mention that your only company in the day time is a super duper cute german shepherd called Samantha; Sam for short and you play re-runs of the news broadcasting interviews with some female doctor/scientist talking about how good the new cure for cancer or something is and what's happened after the cure went wrong. then you find yourself visiting dark empty music stores with mannequins around as if they were really human beings and you talk to them.

i mean, that's just fucked. and it was so so so so so so so sad when Sam got infected! =(

i shall end now. it's turning into a rant
i want shoes. i want shopping. and i shall do that tomorrow with my mommy.
now tell me my exact horoscopes darney!

oh and listen to FOB's The Music or the Misery

It's true - romance is dead, I shot it in the chest then in the head.

2007-12-31T00:05:00.000+08:00

brushed aside
like it never happened.

Music

2007-12-30T23:17:00.000+08:00

Songs play a major role in my life. But there are some that never fail to dig up the bitter memories of what has occurred before. They make me wish it never existed.

However good the song may be

Speeding Train

2007-12-30T18:59:00.000+08:00

Well I worked my last day in Bakerzin today on the pretext of my father disallowing me to work anymore. When the truth is I actually don't feel like working anymore. But the good side would be that if I were to decide to come and work again, all I have to do is make a phone call =D

So anyway, I don't think I blogged yesterday. Was too tired to anyway. I had the night shift last night and then there was a commotion outside my house. Leading actors? The paramedics who brought my grandfather up into his room and my Dad. They nearly started fighting. I don't know what happened afterwards because a dam inside my tear glands burst open and I started crying over the phone when I called Darney. It just scared me quite badly. My Dad even shouted at his wife.

I won't elaborate more on it. I'm still feeling pretty shaken up by it.

Darney had his first pool tournament today and he got his butt kicked by a pool coach. Of all people. But it's okay. At least he had a taste of how a tournament would be like.

Truth be told, I'm actually in a pretty shitty mood.

a train that leaves the light
and speeds into the darkness
it's got no feelings.
no faith, no loyalty; nothing
merely a metal box full of strangers

Mmph

2007-12-29T02:25:00.000+08:00

Did I mention that I'm watching Ugly Betty from season 1? Marc and Amanda are actually quite comical if you look past their bitchiness. And, even though it shows how superficial and all-about-image people are, I think it's super cool to show what's beneath that all-about-image attitude. Like Wilhemina and Amanda. No matter how much they make you hate them, they have a way of making space in your heart from sympathy for them when things get saddening.

there are always two sides to every book.

Anyway, I'm 3/4 through Amber Spyglass. Which is the third book of the trilogy by Philip Pullman. And I met Darney for brunch today. I woke at 8.30 to go to his house only to fall asleep because I was so so so tired and that doofus wouldn't wake, until like 11 or something.

In the end, I didn't go to Bras Basah to check on the book by Anne Rice that I wanted with the shop because I was too lazy to. X=

Anyway, it's pretty late/early/whatever now. Therefore I shall go to sleep before I tempt myself into staying awake and watching more Ugly Betty.

can't stop
can't forget
can't forgive

Today Was Fun!

2007-12-27T18:19:00.000+08:00

=D The title says it all.
I had loads of fun today!

First off, I think I woke up like super early in the morning. Perhaps 5-6am or something and dragged my lethargic form out of the room with no air-con turned on or wind in it out into the living room where it felt like I was walking, in the night, from an oven into antartica. Mom draped a blanket across my feet to keep me warm because my feet were freezing. It was that cold, and the coldness was caused by the strong wind blowing in and the fan.

Woke up, ate chee cheong fan plus two raisin danish which I brought home from work. The raisin danish is super nice! It's huge though. Mom painted my toenails fluorescent pink; the colour of Darney's scorpion jump cue. xD I think it's quite nice leh. Plus I actually told my mom to get that nail polish because she couldn't decide on a colour. I know. Me? Pink? The one who hates pink?

Either way, it's still nice. Although I feel weird when I see my coloured toes. It feels so unlike me. >.>

Met Darney at the the pool parlour above SuperBowl. Watched him play for a while before I decided to go annoy him. xD We ended up snatching for the balls before the other could hit it. Ended up playing one round of snooker too. =D I like snooker better. I think pool and snooker alike have a lot of sexual innuendos. If you think about it in a dirty way that is. Go figure. I shall not elaborate further. xD

Stopped after that and headed downstairs to watch my Mom & Bro bowl for a while before we decided to play too. Honestly, Darney that liar sucks. He told me he can't play at all but he ended up playing better than me. Which, I think a lot of people can do so too. Considering how I had a score of 0 for 6 out of the 10 games. Fucked. x=

Ate at Cosmos before heading to Bras Basah Complex again. Might be visiting the book shop on the same level as The Q Shop where Darney gets his cues and all his stuff for pooling from, again, tomorrow. I really want Anne Rice's Interview with the Vampire! The guy told me that he still has a couple of them in a box inside the storage room and told me to either drop by again tomorrow or next week. I think I'll be going there on my own though.

Darney's headed to some camp tomorrow afternoon.
Anyone wanna join me in a trip to somewhere near Bugis? =D

Fooled

2007-12-27T00:12:00.000+08:00

I worked the evening/night shift today.

Ran an errand. Helped them collect a box of big candles from paragon before going to united square. Errands are fun. You get to walk around and take your time on the pretext of work errand plus you get to be late for work before getting murdered.

Not that you'll get murdered for being late. You just don't get money or something if you're extremely late. I'm just exaggerating.

Actually, I feel like I'm back in school. Except this school pays you because you do actual work. But the hair needs to be tied up if it's long enough. You can't have nail polish on. If your hair's dyed into a seriously outstanding colour like Bird's grey, it's a no-no. You have to cut your fingernails and make sure you're armed with your apron,a pen and a stack of paper to take orders with.

Yuck. I hate that I landed myself into a slightly slacker-than-school but similar-to-school-nonetheless situation.

So anyway, I got two fingers jammed into the drawer when I tried to slam it close when it got stuck. They were rendered useless for an hour or so and are still hurting when pressure is applied to them. =(

Work was pretty alright. I got stuck with the same two colleagues who were pretty hostile the other time. Thank goodness they have somehow gotten rid of the hostility towards each other. I didn't bother asking how or why. I'm just glad. =D Went home with country bread, a whole mango trinity cake and a box full of raisin danish, two other weirdo bread and a chocolate eclair. =D They wanted to give me a log cake too, but there's just too much to finish.

Trained one stop, before alighting at Toa Payoh then took 142 to my Mom's. Bathed, enjoyed my eclair with gatorade(weird combo, i know) and now I'm chatting on msn stoning with my eyes half-closed.

when friends who are there for you turn into lovers
things can't stop getting messier

周杰倫- 我不配

2007-12-26T13:32:00.000+08:00

2nd day of the time of the month and I have the night shift to work tonight. Ugh
Anyway, 周杰倫 lyrics! =D This song gets better and better every time you listen to it.

这街上太拥挤
太多人有秘密
玻璃上有雾气在被隐藏起过去
你脸上的情绪
在还原那场雨
这巷弄太过弯曲走不回故事里

这日子不再绿
又斑驳了几句
剩下搬空回忆的我在大房子里
电影院的座椅
隔遥远的距离

感情没有对手戏你跟自己下棋
还来不及仔仔细细写下你的关于
描述我如何愛你
你却微笑的离我而去

这感觉已经不对
我努力在挽回
一些些应该体贴的感觉我没给
你嘟嘴许的愿望很卑微

在妥协是我忽略
你不过要人陪
哦这感觉已经不对
我最后才了解

一页页不忍翻阅的情节
你好累
你默背为我掉过几次泪
多憔悴
而我心碎你受罪你的美

我不配

oh well.

Bloody idiots

2007-12-25T18:43:00.000+08:00

Darney just called me and told me that a family staying diagonally opposite his house moved away a few days ago, leaving behind their dog. Bunch of fuckers.

If you don't want to keep an animal then don't fucking get one in the first place! You leave the poor dog behind, confused and wondering where the hell you've been to when you really just 'don't want to' keep the dog already.

you fucking insensitive assholes. i hope you die. and if santa exists, he'd visit you with a chainsaw to cut you apart and see where your hearts have gone to.

poor dog.

=\

i'm almost done with the subtle knife

do you know that your love
is the sweetest sin

x'mas eve

2007-12-24T18:42:00.000+08:00

today, we went around in a car. got stuck in a traffic jam where my mom decided to take the shoulder lane even though it's illegal; twice. xD

went to IMM to eat and walk around daiso for a while before heading to depot heights shopping centre to find darney. except, he decided to leave when we were arriving so we didn't get to watch him pool. oh well

mom dropped us off at heartland mall. ate the korean food at the korean/japanese fast food joint with agedashi tofu! =D yummy. im starting to like the korean food a lot but it's super duper salty. i foresee that my hair will drop even more. oh no, i shouldn't be saying this actually. my mom said that people who keep saying negative things whether they mean it or not; sometimes find that the things they say come true.

for example; this singer kept singing her most popular song which contains a phrase "break to pieces" or something and she died in a plane crash. there's a bit of a link there, but yeah. so apparently whatever negative thing you keep reiterating may actually come true.

im typing with no caps and a little bit of poor punctuation simply because im too lazy to type properly. x=

anyway, i might be changing my url soon because i regret giving it to some people and now i have no idea as to how to make those idiots go away.

and the clutch bags i saw at heartland are too expensive. =( i can only hope that before my pay arrives, they don't stop selling. they are really nice! either i choose one or get both but that's really going to burn a hole in my pocket. one's $43.90, while the other clutch is $49.90.

rah!

oh and merry x'mas eve people. =]

Evil Evil xD

2007-12-24T00:27:00.000+08:00

Hahahaha, Darney and I are talking about school. *cackles evilly* We make a very mean team. x= But first off, here's a little extract from our convo: about when we wanna die. xD

Cloute [ My trusty Cuetec. ] says (12:32 AM):
i wanna live till 40 and die
Cloute [ My trusty Cuetec. ] says (12:32 AM):
DIE AT MY PRIME!
Cloute [ My trusty Cuetec. ] says (12:32 AM):
x)
&/♠ mcp. says (12:32 AM):
same
&/♠ mcp. says (12:32 AM):
LOL
&/♠ mcp. says (12:32 AM):
i wanna die before 60 and im a happy person.
Cloute [ My trusty Cuetec. ] says (12:33 AM):
Then give my assets to charity.
Cloute [ My trusty Cuetec. ] says (12:33 AM):
Then make them do a monument of me.
Cloute [ My trusty Cuetec. ] says (12:33 AM):
x)
&/♠ mcp. says (12:33 AM):
i'll burn my assets
&/♠ mcp. says (12:33 AM):
x=
Cloute [ My trusty Cuetec. ] says (12:33 AM):
PLAYING POOL!
Cloute [ My trusty Cuetec. ] says (12:33 AM):
X)
&/♠ mcp. says (12:33 AM):
even when i die i'll be a selfish bitch
&/♠ mcp. says (12:33 AM):
xD
&/♠ mcp. says (12:33 AM):
i'm gonna burn all my money
Cloute [ My trusty Cuetec. ] says (12:33 AM):
-.-"
Cloute [ My trusty Cuetec. ] says (12:33 AM):
whatever.

Am planning to quit my job as a waitress already. Anyway, *zooms back into the convo* it's getting quite hilarious xD

2007-12-23T21:46:00.000+08:00

if i had a car
i'd drive myself off a cliff at full speed and then see what happens. =D

a life in exchange for that nanosecond's worth moment of feeling
as you and your car is suspended in midair
before you feel it plunge.

whoo!
exhilarating.

Write back what is wrong

2007-12-23T20:02:00.000+08:00

I'm stuffed full from the brocoli, long beans, potatoes and angel fish. Dinner was pretty yummy today. Spent the whole day doing nothing. Darney scared me. He made me think his ankle was broken after a bad fall. =\

I have so much to say. I've been contemplating opening a private blog but keeping this one as well. Except I can't help but feel weird from blogging twice in a day at two different venues.

give me love for christmas

Deathly ill

2007-12-23T13:09:00.000+08:00

Couldn't sleep all night. My back was aching pretty badly. It feels a tad bit stiff now. I couldn't sleep past 10.30 today even though I only fully fell asleep at 4am. No work today. I feel like going out. Get out of this house, where people hold faces full of sorrow. They can deny, they can laugh for a while, they can tell him not to die. But in the end, I see that bitter resentment as they face the music in silence. He's going soon.

The doctor gave him only 2 days more.

Aunt asked if we could go Genting. At first we couldn't confirm if we were going or not because I'm not sure about my work schedule. But that is unneeded now. We won't be going anywhere. Only my grandpa will. I hope he leaves soon. He's suffering so much. I don't think I will ever understand why he's still hanging on like that. Refusing to die and crying because he doesn't want to die. Despite the pain and the fact that his body isn't as strong as his willpower is.

I can still remember when they tried to talk him into going to the hospital. When they tried to persuade him to go for the operation. When they tried to tell him that wearing the pampers would help. I remember when he would tell them 'no' over and over again. I guess it is, finally, because of his fear to die that he agreed; to go for the operation, to take all that medication, to wear the pampers and everything that he would have never agreed with before.

I don't think I will understand, until I am in his place. Old and withered, sick from old age as I feel my body start to die. Nope, I won't ever want to go through all this misery just to prolong what is inevitable.

death
is around you
just in the corner of your eye
smiling at you
like the moon in the sky

love
is with you
holding your hand
tears overflow
they love you so

your body has weakened
eyes hardly see the light
ears can barely hear the voices
limbs immobile; in pain

look, can you see?
they cry for you
they love for you
they live because of you

like a flower, you have withered
you are almost gone, but you would not go
you are still holding on.

can you run and hide forever?

Trying To Remember

2007-12-22T23:20:00.001+08:00

why I was afraid
to be myself and let the
covers fall away

today.
i had brunch at ichiban sushi at tpy.
sashimi = delicious and i can't believe i didn't order more.

RAH
and my tofu, i wanted tofu
but ah, it was 11 in the morning and i couldn't really eat much

mom dropped me off at darney's after. waited until he was willing to move his butt and bath before we headed out. Ate beehoon(yummy okay) with spicy long beans and cabbage then bought the prepaid for my brother before going to the pool parlour. darney's sister came later on. walked to the 854 bus stop, took a bus home

afterwhich, sandra messaged me and told me she's bored and all. haha in the end she decided to go home and get a set of clothes + shoes + towel before coming to my house. headed to the gym after making her watch achmed and peanut xD

didn't run a lot today. half of what i usually run actually. but we did more weights and all. the people who were coming in and out were super annoying. but whatever. hahaha we actually locked the door for a period of time so that they couldn't come in. but that was when they were gone xD

my aunt and uncle came to fetch her later on. anyway, picture time! my hair hasn't got much change. but it's definitely shorter now, and idk whether i should leave it at this length or let it grow back again. And there's my Mom xD

X'mas lights are super duper pretty. Love the blue! And there's Darney pooling xD

That's my cousin. Haha =D This isn't a very good picture. xD She isn't too happy with how she looks in it. Neither am I too happy about how I look in it. But heck, it's the only photo we took with our faces both in it. I cut my own face off in the other x=

Okay, I shall go check on the videos I have to send to Darney and deal with someone who's denying sugar rush effects before heading on to Maple. I want to want Alvin and the Chipmunks. They are so adorable!

Bestest Bitch

2007-12-22T18:56:00.000+08:00

Charlotte you make a very good mean bitch.

In the past 24 hours you have successfully earned yourself no ticket to bird's x'mas eve party even after the commotion you've caused in front of your aunts and uncles, got angry at Darney for planning to meet some other girl because of your own sad little insecurity; lack of faith and trust, told someone you've never talked or met with face to face that she's got no right to tell you what's okay and what's not and that she's no friend of yours at all and now you're just a sad bitch who's feeling guilty over almost everything you've done.

great

you should totally shoot yourself in the head for being such a loser.

what the fuck is wrong with you?
you're a total screw up and i bet heads are already nodding as they read along.

you've turned everything upside down.

is that too much that im asking for?

2007-12-22T00:27:00.001+08:00

such mean streak you're on
so unlike you.

i feel like a five year old bitch.
tsk

what's gotten into you?

two-four weeks before i get my shirts
i hope they'll arrive in good condition >.>
can't stop thinking bout them!
or tmr
or the party that i won't be able to go to
fishsticks. ugh

GRRRR!

2007-12-21T23:13:00.000+08:00

i feel so annoyed.
GAH

darney; go roller blading with me!!!

Sam&Fuzzy

2007-12-21T20:15:00.000+08:00

Finally bought my sam&fuzzy shirts! Haha

Spent most of today doing my hair. That auntie is really good. For $7, I sort-of have the hairstyle I've been wanting! And my hair is quite short now because of the thinning and layering. Heehee

Darney came to my Mom's for a while. Had Laksa and super delicious bbq chicken. I'm still waiting for my dim sum. Didn't get to ask my mom to bring me for dim sum today because my mom only fetched my sis and bro after lunch.

Found out Darney's craving for dim sum too! xD
Okay, yeah. I think I should start making a list of things I want + need to get soon. When my pay comes.. WHOO! $.$

I'm loving my new hair. Shall post a picture of it soon. Am contemplating keeping the length this way for a while. Just the maintaining would get a little annoying because I'd have to keep trimming it.

Oh well
Headache headache.

I want candy.

I See A Blue Sky

2007-12-21T12:32:00.000+08:00

I've been craving for dim sum since 100 years ago and today I am going to talk my mother into bringing me to a dim sum restaurant to eat. That is, of course, after she brings me for my hair treatment plus layering.

I want to get my hair layered and the back, thinned. I feel like having another drastic change again, but the past three experiences have told me not to listen to my irrational and impatient side of me x_x

no me ames

Yelling Obscenities

2007-12-20T18:04:00.000+08:00

Well, today's been a pretty weird day. Headed over to Darney's when the rain lightened up. Played with Jo while waiting for Darney & Marcus to reach because they were at Heartland buying stuff for the food they'd be preparing before bringing to the party that's most probably starting soon.

Ate the ~~potato~~ onion salad Darney made. I asked, "Shouldn't it be called Onion Salad instead of Potato Salad since your onions are more than the potatoes inside?" And Darney told me onion salad sounds gross. -__- So put more potatoes inside! Lol

Marcus kept poking me and whacking me and make stupid faces at me behind Darney's back. Stupid. Two annoyingly mean bullies bullying yi ge ruo nu zi. MEAN LAH xD

Watched a lot of tv shows. Jackass, Ugly Betty, CSI, Alien 3, Ellen Degeneres, Oprah Winfrey, Heroes. Not the whole show of course. Just bits of them. =D Oh yes, and Asian Idol. Watched Peanut and Achmed the Dead Terrorist and Walter with Darney & Marcus too. Walter is just so freaking funny. I'm including the link on my profile page. xD Oh and Sweet Daddy. But do be warned that Walter & Sweet Daddy are pretty vulgar. xD But it's just so goddamn hilarious!

Watched them prepare the food, whined about the amount of chives(sp?) they added into the potato salad. Thankfully I got a bowl of it first before Darney added the rest of the chives in. So gross can. >.> But yeah. The salad was goooooooood. The pasta could do with just a little amount more of cream but it was good nonetheless.

While waiting for 854, those two kept bullying me. I'm serious! Darney kept messing up my hair and Marcus stole my Hello Panda. =\

Idiots.
But I had fun,
Whacking them. xD

Call The Police

2007-12-20T10:59:00.000+08:00

Call the police coz I've lost control and I really want to see you bleed
I can't do nothing if I can't do something my way
I must be crazy if I follow every word you say
When the shit comes down you'll be the first to walk away

James Morrison. I'm starting to like him again. Darney introduced him to me. Don't like his whole album: Undiscovered though. haha Only heard a few songs on repeat. =D

Go listen! He's pretty good.

I woke up and the first thing I saw was rain splattered all over the windows and the trees were being crazy, bobbing up and down. I thought there was some natural disaster going on. So I shrugged and went back to sleep for a while. lmao

I think if a natural disaster strucks Singapore in the morning, all the night people like me will be the first to go. xD

Happy Happy Day!

2007-12-19T22:27:00.000+08:00

I had work today! I was quite annoyed, initially, because I decided to walk a different route to the bus stop in hopes of shortening the work. Except, I forgot that that route I took had close to no shelter and it's such a long road to walk with the same things lined along it that it's a bore. Trees on the right, rows of houses that look almost the same to my left.

Work was alright. Pretty tiring actually. The atmosphere was hostile because my two team leaders have this intense disliking for each other. Trust me, it's not the type of hate that's gonna turn into love. Su San kept bitching about him. And, I have no idea why the hell I'm so clumsy today. I kept bumping into people, tables, chairs and burnt my last three fingers twice, lost my balance, tripped, stepped on things, slipped. Omg lah. T_T

So, I knocked off at 6pm. Saw Dennis come in, all act cool-ishly like an Ah beng xD. Saw Su San still bitching about him, Serene & Kim still busy with the x'mas orders and Ah Hao (I'm calling him this because I still can't remember whether his name is Guo Guang or Hao Guang or Guo Hao x=) walking off to buy some "very important things" which I have no idea what the hell they are. No interest anyway. xD

Called Darney, and he wouldn't tell me where he was until I saw him just opposite me. xD Headed to the basement of United Square to get some food. Ate some honeydew dessert after! It's quite delicious. Trained, then cabbed back to my home with Darney. Stayed for a while, fooled around with that stupid bouncy rainbow ball, laughing my heart out and bouncing the ball on his head xD It was pure madness and I kept laughing so much until I went a bit insane. To the extent of laughing even more when he threatened to pour water on my head. lmao

Headed down to wait for his mom to come pick him. Played with the adorable cat that scaled the fence of a house just to show off her acrobatic abilities. Soaked our feet in the baby pool. Stupid Darney kept trying to push me into the pool. Nearly threw me in as well -_- RAH

But it was all good. Had loads of fun today. =D And I had this customer who complimented me and another who used me to suan his son for not working. xD

Well, I'm ending off here. Night-o people.

Praying for love and paying in naivety
but it's better if you do.

2007-12-19T01:37:00.001+08:00

AHHHHHHHHHHHH

_!_ YOU!

x=

----

Obviously the above isn't typed by me. it's typed by a pervertic dinosaur who goes by Darney now.

AND OMG, it's 1.40am! =O

Walk, Run, Smile

2007-12-18T20:57:00.000+08:00

I'm quite sick of pretending I'm glad to see customers when they enter Bakerzin because, extremely frankly, some of them just suck really badly. Like how some will ignore you on sight and give off that condescending vibe. Or those that blatantly ignore you by turning their heads the other way when they see you approach them. Or the extremely demanding and impatient kind. Reminds me of Diner Dash except Flo wouldn't give a shit about them. All she does is either get loads of money or lose one round -_-

Mom, Sis & Darney came by today! =D When I saw them eating and all, it dawned upon me that I hadn't eaten a proper meal the whole day. Why? Because I decided to close my eyes for a while and actually dozed off for twenty minutes before Darney called me to tell me "Eh! You have work! Wake up!" then I was like "Yah I know I know, I'm awake." because I thought that I had only just closed my eyes.

Only when I hung up, did I realise that I actually dozed -.-

Rushed out of the house without eating because I do not want to be late for work. Apparently, if you work for eight hours or more, you get your staff meal but if you're late the penalty is your food. Found out from Sze Ying today because she was late xD

But yeahhh. Passed SY her camera back too. lmao

I really hate idling during work. It makes you so conscious about time and it will pass by even slower and you would find yourself wishing for time to speed on by so that you can finally knock off and rest those tired tired feet. Mine are aching like crazy. There were tonnes of people today. I reported for work, only to find out that there were two reservations. One for six people the other for eight. And some people just wouldn't leave and they kept ordering and ordering and ordering!

Some even came back after half an hour or so O_O
Rich people.

Heard this Mom talking to her son saying "Hurry choose. After this we're going to buy watch." And the son goes, "What watch?" And she says "Roulette watch." Excuse me if I'm wrong, but roulette watches are expensive right? T_T

So, served my Mom, Darney & Sis. They waited for me until I finished my shift. Darney got me the Teriyaki Chicken Sandwich I would always get whenever I'm hungry and can afford it, from Subway. Either that or Darney would get it for me =D

But yum yum! Can never get sick of it!

Darney came over for a while. He tried to teach me how to flick the ball upwards and catch it because it's so darn cool. Except I ended up making the ball fly to his crotch, to my broken guitar, to my computer and everywhere except upwards towards me! -_-

Walked him out, waited around the Gym area for his Mom to come pick him before heading back home and here I am! Well, I'm gonna go watch 放羊的星星 now. xD

Oh I added the links to Jeff Dunham's ventriloquist shows where my playlist was. The two funniest actually. Darney checked out his website and we saw his whole tour schedule where he tours around USA. Even shows that are in March next year are already sold out! Shows how good the tickets sales are huh? >.> He's extremely funny.

Change

2007-12-18T01:15:00.000+08:00

your arms like tower
tower over me

im never good with words or actions.
what's kept inside never quite comes out perfectly.

but i will find a way somehow.

i really miss your hugs.

Thinking

2007-12-17T12:24:00.000+08:00

daily thoughts can eat you up
from inside out
and before you know it
you emerge a completely different person.

would you be happier?

Reversal

2007-12-17T01:01:00.000+08:00

mocking tone
inflicting words
sarcastic smile

i deserved it.

Just Another Writer

2007-12-16T19:19:00.000+08:00

I'm starting to like my layout more and more! At first it didn't look extremely satisfying when I was finished with it and I uploaded it onto blogger with only half of my usual confidence. But looking at it as and when I feel like makes me love it even more. x=

Although, I do need to adjust that stupid tagboard. Pale yellow & orange colours for it don't quite seem to suit the layout fully. Maybe I should go for yellow and peach.

Hmmm.

Met Darney in the afternoon. Watched him play pool with another Wayne. Turns out that guy stays near Darney and his neighbour is -omfg- the slut. xD Okay, I won't write her name here before she comes prancing in her act cute manner and murdering me somehow.

Thank goodness I won't have to look at her for another year. X= I feel mean.
Pictures. =D One at Bakerzin, the other at NUM. I love the NUM photo! xD

You know, I have this thing for hats. Except I never really had the guts to wear them out. Maybe someone should offer to wear one out with me! Plus, I always thought my head was big but I guess they aren't very very big because hats seem to always reach down to my eyes and I'd feel like I'm a blind person with a huge hat on my head. -_-

Whatever,
dinner was super filling. Candice's cupcakes shall accompany me tonight for supper. I feel like I'm conversing with myself in this post. xD

She Sleeps No More

2007-12-16T09:39:00.000+08:00

I feel like a vampire. Except I don't burn from the rays of the sun. Nor do I sleep in the day. But I feel like a vampire. Oh and I don't need blood to survive.

I want dim sum. xD
Been craving it ever since I last ate it with Darney in Chinatown.

There's this part of the play Macbeth that popped into my head a while ago. Thought I might share it. I love Lit. Won't mind thinking about it even though the O's are long gone. A thing of the past. What's the future will be our results T_T

Macbeth Methought I heard a voice cry 'Sleep no more!
Macbeth does murder sleep' -- the innocent sleep,
Sleep that knits up the ravelled sleave of care,
The death of each day's life, sore labour's bath,
Balm of hurt minds, great Nature's second course,
Chief nourisher in life's feast, -

Lady Macbeth What do you mean?

Macbeth Still it cried 'Sleep no more!' to all the house:
'Glamis hath murdered sleep, and therefore Cawdor
Shall sleep no more; Macbeth shall sleep no more'.

Get it?
Glamis hath murdered sleep, and therefore Cawdor.

I helped my maid when my grandpa wanted to brush his teeth and eat today morning. It was horrifying because I never quite had a good look at him. Neither had I ever been, in all the 16 years of my life, within such close proximity to my grandpa. His structure is as good as veins, bones and skin. I could feel the bone protruding from his form as I supported him upwards.

Surprisingly, he's still strong enough to pick up the toothbrush and brush his own teeth. And I found out that he only eats 4-5 spoonfuls of porridge now. Instead of his usual big bowl of porridge last time. This is life. And yet he's still fighting against time that threatens to take him away. Rendered helpless, relying on others for help for his daily needs, he still lives so strongly and weeps when he knows his time is about to end.

It puts me to shame. It shows me how much of a weakling I am compared to him.

It was the roar of the crowd that gave me heartache to sing
It was a lie when they smiled and said you won't feel a thing

Another New Skin!

2007-12-15T17:43:00.000+08:00

Goodbye my 47,259 hits counter. I'm finally able to bring myself to throw that dumb counter away. It's simply too big and ugly. Hence the new counter that's smaller. Not as ugly.

Plus a new skin! =D
It's more on the brown/orange side. A light coloured skin. I already miss my TK(Tom Kaulitz) skin. x=

But it's okay. I can still see him everyday on my handphone! heehee

Outing with recess gang was really fun! I'm too lazy to post photos now or details now. Besides, my brain is a bit screwy. I can't seem to recall much except laughter & Candice's hat smudged with a bit of the NY cheesecake from Bakerzin. We had over 22 dollars worth of staff discount. From a $103 bill, it was reduced to $77. Shiok can!

Shall go back to NUM and blow my pay there with SY & Glynoo. For more details on the outing, go to Glynoo's blog! xD

It's raining again. =D

Time In A Bottle

2007-12-13T02:11:00.000+08:00

SY passed me this CD, in which, contains a lot of photos that were taken in the sort-of-long-ago past. It's making me miss my friends even more. Caution: this is a really long post full of pictures.

Prom Night
Ai Ren! =D

Recess Gang!

Jolin. =D

Tania, Miss something. Forgot what she got. xD I think it's Miss Personality.

SY. She is soooo pretty! xD

My dearest most violent ex⁵ partner. Our B3 clique should have another gathering soon!

One of the most hilarious: Candice Ho!

Cheekohkoh! We'll always stay in touch okay. =D See you soon! AND WHY'D YOU GO RUIN THE PHOTO LIKE THAT HUH? xD It's no cool style okay!

School Days
Credits to Grace Tan for making us look like freaks with blue skin. xD

Uh, I forgot when this was taken. It's like some huge farewell ceremony thingo for the Sec 4s & 5s.

Funfair preparations.

There's more to come, but I can't possibly post everything. Even so, pictures can't speak a thousand words. They can't explain it unless I do. I must admit that for the past four years, these words "I fucking hate the school./I never wanted to be in here./The faster I leave this place, the better." have been hanging by the side of my mouth. I've been swearing and cursing and resenting the fact that I was stuck in a school with a bunch of ridiculous rules.

But this is where I'm going to confess that I'm glad I'm was in PL. Because if my Dad had not sent me there, I wouldn't have met so many wonderful people. Who are still a part of my life. And will always be a part of who I am.

Hello all of you. B3 and C1 mates. The big group, the clique in sec 3, RG. Thank you all for being there. For stepping into my life. For the advice, the encouragement, the support and giving me a push when I need one. For showing me that I have people who care for me, when I sometimes felt like I had no one. The crazy things we did, the laughter we shared, the talks we had and have. I'll miss it all because 3/4 of the memories I have of all of you have taken place in PL.

I'm here to say that I love you guys. Love you so much that I'll never ever forget anyone of you who have made an impact in my life. Forget me not.

I'm out of here before I start crying. xD

Chicken Teriyaki

2007-12-13T00:13:00.000+08:00

I love subway's chicken teriyaki with lettuce and just a few strips of onions with mayo. DELICIOUS.

Darney bought it for me to eat after work today! =D
Headed for work right, I freaking left an hour earlier than I should. Ended up taking the train from YCK to City Hall before taking back to Novena, then spending half an hour at Sans Bookshop. X=

Worked with SY for half an hour! xD

okay
getting quite distracted.

Yellowcard

2007-12-12T12:42:00.000+08:00

Night life, the highlife
she just wants a good life
so someone remembers her too
but somewhere she heard there was someplace to go
when you die when you live like we do
die when you live like we do

I feel so restless nowadays.
So restless I can't even sleep
and it's getting worse

and i want so badly to close my eyes and get the sleep that i really need. yet on the other hand, i don't want to. the feeling strengthens with each passing night

i don't want to close my eyes
don't want the sleep that i need.

what i want isn't what i need.
i need you.

am watching the drama show: 放羊的星星
my sister bought the vcds so I'm watching them at a pretty leisurely pace.
it's pretty nice =D

can't wait to see Darney again
and there's work later on in the evening.
can't wait to see SY either!

I think I'm going to put Yellowcard's songs on repeat for a while
there's this sudden urge to listen to Hollywood Died. Lyrics above, from this song.

Reminds me of Click Five's When I'm Gone. Except Hollywood Died came out much much earlier

Paramore

2007-12-10T23:38:00.000+08:00

Cause we are broken
What must we do to restore
Our innocence
And oh, the promise we adored
Give us life again cause we just wanna be whole

please give us life again.

Bop Bop

2007-12-09T23:26:00.000+08:00

Random title.
Short post

Work's work. Mapled the whole day. X= Yes, I'm a freaking no-lifer now.

Darney surprised me again! He came to US and waited for me until we closed down and then we took a cab to my house from AMK. =D

They gave me one big and one small box full of cakes.
CRAZY OKAY

and arabella sucks
only the outer layer of chocolate coating is yummy
And Desire is oohlala. Haven't tried the cheesecakes yet
but I've got two more night shifts coming up next week!

Northern Lights

2007-12-08T20:23:00.000+08:00

The movie, The Golden Compass, is actually a movie of only the first part of a trilogy written by Philip Pullman. Its real name is Northern Lights which is ten times nicer a name than The Golden Compass. Now read this. It's an extract from the book of when Lyra saw Iorek Byrnison.

Lyra's heart was thumping hard, because something in the bear's presence made her feel close to coldness, danger, brutal power, but a power controlled by intelligence; and not a human intelligence, nothing like a human, because of course bears had no daemons. This strange hulking presence gnawing its meat was nothing she had ever imagined, and she felt a profound admiration and pity for the lonely creature.

How could you ever portray that in a movie, other than in words? No matter how good an actor may be, words power over moving images. To me that is. =]

The Lightest Thing

2007-12-08T19:07:00.000+08:00

Been thinking a lot Been reminiscing Been lamenting
I think it's time to put down that full stop.

You can't retrieve, or restore what was lost in the past. Because we've been trying to do that for so long now. Why don't we face the music and settle for what we have now? I know you want this as much as I do. For us to go back to last time, when things weren't so fucked up and we were happy more than we were miserable; but we can't.

I don't think I can. I don't think I can forget so easily even though I've really tried. I don't know what I want, or what I've been doing the past whole year. And maybe the only thing I ever did right and am confident that it's right, is that I studied for the O's.

What else have I done, correctly, without screwing something important up?
So I guess it all boils down to four simple overused but true words. It's all my fault.

Met Darney in the morning to go to the ICA building with him to renew his passport. It's still with me now -.- Headed over the Bugis. And oh my fucking shit. We walked, and walked and walked in so many circles! It's like we were blind or something and if only we had looked the other way we would have realised that what we've been looking for has been there all along.

but it was really funny
even though you really made me feel like punching you at times. xD
Which I did, actually. x=

Ohhhhhhhkay. Anyway, he tested out his jump cue-to-be and then tested out his jump break cue-to-be, then we headed over to Bugis and bought bread from Four Leaves (swear it, their bread's pretty good) before meeting Marcus at the MRT station. Stupid idiot said I look more like an ah lian with my highlighted hair. RRAH!

I AM NOT AN AH LIAN.
I DO NOT LOOK LIKE ONE.
WHY WON'T ANYONE SAY OTHERWISE! x_x

i like that face x_x
so cute

Watched The Golden Compass with my Mom, Darney, Sis & Bro after that. Bloody hell I feel like crying. Philip Pullman will puke blood when he watches the movie. Or if he likes it he'll jump for joy that his books have been turned into a crappy movie. It's downright disappointing and now I understand that whatever goes on tv or movies for the public's eye will always been dramatised or distorted to make it more "attractive".

Guess this sort of attraction isn't for me. Books, I'm for books. No movies adapted from stories anymore.

It's so disappointing.

Lost

2007-12-07T02:16:00.000+08:00

what do you want?
what do i want?
what are you doing?
what am i doing?
how are you feeling?
how am i feeling?

in a dilemma, that's where i am.

it's quite late now. i just hope that when i sleep i don't end up waking at 9plus again. maple is back to dominating my life apart from work. a lot of people in my life seem to have disappeared.

what's the same? nothing.

stuck in memories

Without Consequence

2007-12-06T00:05:00.001+08:00

I asked my Mom to fetch me in the end xD
But I was late anyway because of the accident on the highway.

It rained the whole day. I took a couple of photos when I was on the cab. I love how the rain distorts the pictures. Pretty distortion. =]

Work today
Saw SY! She came in early. Couldn't stop talking once I saw her. In the end Su San had to keep telling me to get to work. x= Ooh and I tried some strawberry drink. Freaking awesome! I didn't realise how much I missed talking to people until I saw SY today. =(

Anyway. I don't know what's up with me. One minute I really want to just walk into Bakerzin and quit. Yet I find myself enjoying the work I do the very next minute. Wtf. Oh yeah, the da lao ban came today! xD Everyone kept telling me not to do this and not to do that and when I was standing around idling Kai Guan was like, "Do something! Pretend you're arranging the menu or whatever! Just do something!" lmao

In the end, I settled for standing around idling behind the da lao ban's back. Until he turned around -_-

Okay whatever. Haha
I haven't walked in the rain since a long time ago. And today reminded me of times we had in the rain. But those moments; they don't feel special anymore. Oh well.

you've got three kinds of people.
the first; walks into the room through one door and without more than a glance, walks out through another door.
the second; walks into the room through one door, stays for only a little while before walking out as well.
the third; walks into the room through one door but never leaves the room.

which one are you?

im uttering nonsense
must be the lack of sleep

where'd my hero run off to?

Walked Out The Door

2007-12-05T10:30:00.000+08:00

Here's a quick one before I get ready to leave for work.

I mapled the whole of yesterday. Before & after meeting Darney for lunch at Chinatown. Apparently, Chinatown's extremely near to his workplace so we met there and ate dim sum. yum yum okay! I want more chee cheong fan and har gao! The tea Darney ordered had this burnt smell and after drinking more of it it'll start tasting burnt too. He said that it's the plainest tea ever, but the most helpful in clearing out the oil that you've consumed with the food.

So I mapled, and mapled and mapled. Until around one am when Darney suddenly came on! =D We're going to start training a Crusader. xD

I feel like asking my Mom to fetch me to work =(

Pool

2007-12-03T22:34:00.001+08:00

So, we were talking about pool and he told me something.

Cloute [ My new best friend, cannon scanner. ] says (10:32 PM):
Phillipinos well known for - Dead aim.
Taipei well known for - Dead consistency
Europe/USA - Well known for, using cues 3x more expensive than the asians but still lose.

xD I think it's quite funny!

What Do They Know

2007-12-03T10:21:00.000+08:00

The fucking noise generated by the construction going on outside my house is driving me insane after waking me up from my not-so-deep slumber! WAH LAU. WHY CAN'T I HAVE A MOMENT OF PEACE AND SLEEP PROPERLY?!

This is so unfair.

HEY YOU. THE ONE DRILLING A HOLE INTO THE GROUND OR WALL. SHUT THAT DAMNED THING OFF!

Beat me up
Beat me down
Mess me up
Beyond all recognition

Turn The Lights Out

2007-12-03T00:00:00.000+08:00

I can't help thinking that I can finally catch my breath from all the events that have taken place. I feel exhausted, and I still can't get proper sleep. I can almost feel the thoughts racing through my mind before I sleep and even before I am fully awake. The loss of sleep is taking its toll on me.

Anyway, I just finished watching My Girl again. X= But that's what happens when you have so much time in your hands. Work today was really good. But there's one problem. I'm starting to feel quite bored at work and I think one of the managers there doesn't like me. Actually that's beside the point. I'm starting to feel bored and I feel like quitting already. But I'm going to hold on until my first month's pay and maybe another month before quitting.

So, went to work. I think my face is plastered in a sort-of permanent "I'm damn fucking bored." expression when I'm at work, until I talk to customers. Worked for about two hours before my manager told me to go help someone with catering. So I got on the truck right (those huge kinds where the only sitting area's at the front of the vehicle and the back's a gigantic cooler) and they were talking about where the location was and how they both didn't know how to get there.

So I was listening, and I heard the lady mention "Yio Chu Kang" and I was thinking "Oh my god! Could it be near my house?! Maybe I heard wrongly." Until I heard her mention it was at a church and I thought "ISN'T THERE A CHURCH NEAR MY HOUSE?!" And then I heard "St Vincent De Paul" and I went "Uh.. I think that's near my house."

LOL

Ended up directing them to the place which really is very near my house. Set up the stuff and all. Macaroons (I got to try the Pistachio flavour. Damn nice), mini walnut cheesecakes, brownies and strawberry tarts, sandwiches and chicken hotdog. It's bloody nice and I only realised how hungry I was when we were arranging the food on the white ceramic plates.

After that, we filled up the glasses with a slice of lemon, ice and the lemon tea itself before waiting. And waiting. And waiting. Then decided to sneak upstairs to catch a glimpse of how a church wedding was like. Unfortunately, we missed the part where the groom unveils the bride's veil and the moments when they exchange their vows. Then hurriedly went back downstairs because the people were about to go down for the food.

Served drinks, yada yada yada. Nearly dropped a glass. Cleaned up a little here and there. Talked while waiting for the delivery man to come and take the tables and stuff before walking home. 12.15am now. A Monday. I didn't realise it's so late! o_o

Gotta go sleep!

You finally got your computer working with the help of your friend. Yay! =)

numbing

Another Chance

2007-12-01T23:16:00.000+08:00

Been a while since I've blogged. Actually, it feels more like a while than actually been a while for real. But quite a lot has happened and it has left me quite exhausted. My eyes have been threatening to shut themselves all day even though I very much want to stay awake.

Friday; one in the morning. I was talking to Leonard for a while on MSN. Asked for a little advice here and there. Thank goodness he forced me to do what I set out to do. So I sent it. Confronting what I've been avoiding for so long. If you read this, thank you. =]

Headed for work at 10.45am. Reached just on time I think. Worked quite a bit until they sent me off to the bank to bank in a lot of money. Which makes me wonder. Just how much trust do they have in me? I'm a five-day old trainee at Bakerzin and they entrusted nearly $900 with me. What if I ran off with the money after I was [somehow] able to come back for my belongings in the kitchen? Oh well.

Spent quite a long time at the bank. Which is good because that means that I don't have to run around the place serving people with menus and their food. He came after that. Stayed for a slice of cake and lime sorbet freeze. (it's actually a set lunch thing) One of the managers let me off early because it wasn't very busy after lunch time. Went to his place for dinner before heading back to my Mom's.

Saturday; Met him in the morning with my mom sis and bro for breakfast then headed over to Cineleisure for a movie: Enchanted. It's pretty funny. Just that some parts seemed kind of spastic to me. But yeah, it's worth the watch. Although, at some point of time you'd feel like it's actually a mix of all the classic fairytales into one. Cinderella, Snow White, Beauty and the Beast I think. Quite a few!

Headed over to my Aunt's while he went to meet his friends. Helped out a little here and there. I played maple for a while! I actually miss playing it, and was sort of reminiscing on the times when I played it like crazy. To the point of an addict actually. I played it so much last time. What's more shocking is that my 10year old cousin has a 15 year old boyfriend. And my Aunt(10year old cousin's mom) plays Maple too and she's married on maple for the extra points added to HP, MP etc; xD It's quite hilarious.

Makes me want to download it and play! SHOULD I? My brother offered to play with me. Hahaha

Walked over and got the cake for my Aunt (I actually forgot to get the candles and birthday knife. thank goodness my Aunt had extra x=) with Sandra. Anyway, the party was pretty good and towards the end of it I somehow ended up playing card games with this six year old girl called Janica (or something. no idea how her name is spelled). But yeah, she's quite cute.

She kept "clawing" at him when he annoyed me by constantly tugging at my hair at one point of time. xD Hilarious and cute. Mom fetched us home after. And here I am. Gonna bath now. Just got off the phone with him. Five minutes to midnight.

easier said than done

사랑

2007-11-29T22:27:00.000+08:00

Okay, the most embarrassing thing happened to me today! I was rushing for work, waiting for a cab for like half an hour while freaking out because I was going to be late for work and when I reached I found out it wasn't my shift! Went home and watched My Girl until Darney finished his job interview and called me. Then quickly rushed out to meet him.

I was late when I went to meet him too x= Took a train down and reached Vivo at 4.20pm instead of 4pm. Thank goodness I made it in time for the movie. Darney bought Nachos with extra cheese and a hotdog. He said that I put too much ketchup and mustard together and it'd end up extremely sour so he added a little bit of chilli on top of the two sauces. In the end, the chilli was spicier than the sour taste from the ketchup and mustard. xD

We watched Hitman. It's my first NC16 movie even though my birthday was nine months ago. But anyway, it's nice! And the only nudity involved is the woman in the movie constantly flashing her boobs. But yeah, it was a cool show! Darney thinks that there isn't enough action involved. Action meaning not enough people dying. Not enough shootouts. I think it's fine. I quite like the movie. x= Its plot is quite similar to stories I've read, written by acquaintances online.

Walked around after the movie. Found the $2 cotton candy shop! Bought this super huge $2.50 cookie. It's quite nice but the size makes eating it quite tiresome. The flavour will lose its appeal after a while. Headed to Vivomart aka Giant after that! Got myself some mineral water, decided to try the pudding too. =D Wanted to get the Vanilla flavoured fat-free pudding but Darney wanted the chocolate one instead. Tried one, it's pretty okay except I never really fancied puddings. Saw green, purple, orange cauliflowers at the mart. They are gross. -_-

Trained back after that. Returned my book, bought sushi for dinner and headed home. I'm watching My Girl all over again, just that I'm skipping the parts where I don't really want to watch. And that's not a lot because most of this Korean Drama is really nice! The only extremely dramatic scenes are the funniest.

Gonna end this post now. If you're feeling extra bored, try watching these videos on YouTube:

Achmed the Dead Terrorist
Britney Fan Crying

words mean nothing.

Alarming

2007-11-29T10:09:00.000+08:00

morning
feet hurt.
i woke up at 9 again
ugh

hitman, after work! i can't wait.

Brain Fuzz

2007-11-28T23:30:00.000+08:00

I just bathed. Came back from work not long ago.

Yiliang came over. Met my aunt's friends as well. It's nice to see familiar faces. Gives me more energy to run about despite my period, fatigue from near-severe lack of sleep and a bad headache.

So, things at work went pretty smoothly today. Brought an eclair and fraisier home. Sis & Bro ate them up. Maybe this post is awkwardly phrased enough for you to realise that I'm simply not in the mood to blog anymore. Or not.

im beat.
im beaten.
im out.

you stupid idiotic foolish girl

2007-11-28T02:44:00.001+08:00

the glamour is over.
and what comes each night so faithfully, arrives as dramatic as ever

Prom Morning

2007-11-28T02:17:00.001+08:00

Well, it's been a blast! Hahaha, dinner at the swissotel. The funny jokes, the constant camwhoring and laughter. I'll miss it loads. Shall blog in detail some other time.

I cannot believe that idiotic bird said I looked like a mamasan!
AND PEOPLE: PHOTOS PLEASE! =D

not the first to know anymore

Noted

2007-11-27T09:41:00.000+08:00

Noted the similarities
noted hardly differences
noted the links
noted what's not; anymore

See Who I Am

2007-11-27T00:01:00.000+08:00

I CAN'T WAIT FOR PROM!

Talking to Glynoo about it makes me feel all the more excited!

We've been dreaming
But who can deny,
It's the best way of living
Between the truth and the lies.

Jelly Flops!

2007-11-26T20:38:00.000+08:00

Spent the entire day with Darney today. Planned to watch Enchanted; didn't in the end. But it's okay. There's still Thursday.

Headed to Darney's house. Woke him up, headed to the food stalls opposite his house to eat. Then headed over to the pool parlour. I bought jelly beans on the way there. Don't quite like the hard exterior of the jelly bean. I prefer the normal ones that aren't extremely hard. The Natural produces better soft sour candy. They should stick to that. I heart jelly flops please. That's what jelly beans are called when they stick together in a bunch.

Stayed at the pool parlour. Played two games with Darney before he did his drills. Started reading and guess what? I've finally finished reading the book! I must say that interesting and intricate as the later plot of the story is; what with Gregory Belkin proclaiming himself as the Messiah who created the Temple of the Mind of God and wanted to kill 2/3 of the world with a virus and all the earlier part of the story is nicer because it talks of Azriel's life in ancient times. I'm more interested in that.

Dinner at Darney's. Mom fetched after that. Whoo! Just changed my MSN font to Georgia. It's so nice!

a problem

The World Is Black

2007-11-26T00:12:00.000+08:00

I want to be like Azriel; Servant of the Bones. The rebel ghost who forgets his past, his pain, everytime he seeks the darkness and solitude in his golden bones. He wakes with no memory but they always come back. somehow

And we can't go back
It won't be the same
Forever changed
By the things we've seen
gc.

It Breaks Again

2007-11-25T17:56:00.000+08:00

I got my hair highlighted today. It's pretty nice. But I'm not as happy or excited over it as I was for a split second anymore. There's no thrill to knowing that I broke another rule; knowing that I'm in for it once I return to school and annoy the teachers anymore because nobody will give a shit about my coloured hair(which is good). Just the thrill that is gone. I guess that's all part of growing up. We stayed at the hairdresser's house for five hours. Highlights for mine and my Mom's. Haircut for my brother.

You put your fingers in the blender. What now, with severed and minced up fingers can you do? Who knew it would hurt so bad.

"I hate knowing what I know."
Ghost Whisperer - Rachel

head says i should
heart protests so furiously.

BOO

2007-11-25T09:38:00.000+08:00

My mosquito bite isn't so swollen anymore!

我存在在你的存在

Speechless

2007-11-25T01:33:00.000+08:00

I'm staring at this page, quite blankly. Decided to try out the Party Shuffle mode on itunes since Darney always used to do that. So, I can give you a very reasonable reason as to why I've never tried out that mode before even though I've been using itunes since forever, but I'm too lazy to.

And, I forgot the purpose as to why I came here for. Aladdin & Jasmine are singing A Whole New World now. I'm feeling morbid and so so tired of everything; there is no ounce of malevolence in me now. Should that be a good thing or a bad thing?

1.35am. Ponder over whether you should, or should not tomorrow. Your heart says no. Your head says yes.

fear.

i can finally take this fake smile off. it's tiring pretending you're happy. especially to people you serve food to, when you actually don't give a fuck about their hunger, their wants, their needs. now i see the other side of the world

i miss you darney, i wish you were here now. =\
you were the first thought in my mind when i heard 6 months, 8 days, 12 hours play at work.

First(s)

2007-11-25T00:48:00.001+08:00

~~Today~~ To be more exact-- yesterday-- I've had so many firsts in the whole entire day or yesterday: 24th November 2007.

It's the first time:
I've stayed out so late
I've stayed out so late because of work
I've gone home with four free cakes worth around 5bucks each
I got shouted at by an angered customer
I wanted to scream back at a customer
I got so busy I left my problems tucked away in my head
I did the closing shift for work
I severed a spider's leg by accident
I saw how I look from the back when I'm on the computer through a web cam

I'm so tired; Fingers frozen from the cold; Feet aching from the standing; Problems still tucked nicely away. I won't go digging them up, no I won't. Keep them all inside, don't let them resurface and cause more mayhem. It's the way to go. It's the only way to go. Run, run. Don't get pushed into a corner again. You're no weakling, you're stronger than you give yourself credit for.

Highlights tomorrow. One question before I go. Light brown or something crazy? I can hear an answer from Darney already. "Use a bit brain can." Standard answer whenever I ask him if I should dye/highlight my hair with a crazy colour.

Don't tell me things that carry no certainty at all. My last hamster died. Tonight's a bad night. Maybe the cheap but good highlights I'll get will brighten my day up.

If only everything would just stop revolving whenever I make a half-spin. So giddy and nauseating, I think my screwed up biological clock is killing me slowly. There's this repulsive-looking mosquito bite on my face just beneath my eye, eye bag and dark eye ring. It's hideous and it better disappear before Prom.

崇拜 by 梁靜茹 is very nice! Alright, so maybe I didn't go after I asked the question.

you can put the blame on me

2007-11-23T22:18:00.001+08:00

It's better not to tell a story at all, if you don't intend to tell everything. The pain is worse. The questions; more than ever. So why bother at all?

Random thought.

Am watching kungfu hustle now. Hope darney's brother is alright. Gotta run

Cakes & Settings

2007-11-22T21:02:00.000+08:00

Met Darney in the morning for brunch! Haha, I overslept and caused him to oversleep too. We agreed to meet at 10 but I set my alarm to 9.30 by mistake so yeah >.> In the end I was trying to rush without seeming like I was rushing for time because my Mom was talking to me and helping me clean up the dirt on my corduroy pants with this sticky tape roller thingo.

Met Darney, had breakfast at Qi Ji. I felt like a child when we were eating because Darney had his hand on my head when I started coughing from the chilli x= It made my heart feel warm and fuzzy though. xD Walked around after that. Darney bought candy for me! Jelly Tots and Fisherman's citrus twist. I like I like! Thank goodness too. I started to get a little too giddy from my headache during work so the jelly tots helped loads.

Today's work was really fun! Had more people my age around, so it's been easier to talk and socialise with them. Still, taking the first step is so not my thing and I did feel a little bit awkward at first. PLUS, imagine going to work on your second day only to find out that all the people you worked with (apart from the chefs) were all different! =O

I was so freaked and I was at a loss for words because you know. I'm not a very sociable person to begin with so yeah. I was damn scared and there was this girl called Serene who struck me as a pretty unfriendly person because she was the only one who didn't bother to talk to me or say hi. X=

But yeah, in the end she warmed up and wasn't as unfriendly as I thought she was. Just that she's like me. We both don't really talk to people we don't quite know. Made friends with these two guys called Boon Jian and Dennis. They're pretty nice too. =D

We had this whole plastic tupperware of raspberry ice cream which was deeeeeeelicious! Haha, it's so freaking nice but it's also extremely sweet. I had a sugar rush almost immediately after I ate one small desert's spoon worth of ice cream.

Okay you know what? I'm beat. Too lazy to type out everything.

Walked to the train station with Dennis and Serene after work. Trained down to DG before switching trains and eating dinner at Darney's with his Mom & Dad. =D Took a shower there before heading home in a cab. Thank goodness Darney forced me to take a cab, (yes, i know you were right xD) my feet hurt!

Oh yes, and did I mention that I was so tired I saw the seat belt in the taxi as the wrapping for otah for five seconds? AND, I've finally memorised all the cakes properly!

Maybe

2007-11-21T15:15:00.000+08:00

i'm watching the season two of Ugly Betty and i'm starting to like the chocolate hello panda now.

brushed off.
what have i but music and misery.

Never Again

2007-11-21T11:38:00.000+08:00

I just had the same dream again. Well, almost. I can't quite remember who the people were in the first dream so I don't know if it's exactly the same. So here it goes. We were in this extremely large compound that's built with roman designs incorporated into them, and there were lifts and stairs on the side of the building. The lift is made of glass, supported by bronze coloured metal bars and I was in it, going down from somewhere really high. The view was pretty, but I didn't look out much.

In my dream, most of the people were the ones whom I hardly talk to now, relations distanced over the capacity of time and words grow fewer until there may be none each day. So, I met them and I talked to one of them. Suddenly I found myself sitting at a long table eating spaghetti with them! Hahaha!

I won't disclose their identities. Don't know why, guess I just don't feel like it. And, I just watched this movie called She-Devil on StarMovies. xD It's quite cool! Shows how this wife who was neglected by her husband and finds out, one day, that he's been cheating on her so she burnt their house down and set out on a mission to take away everything he has. In the end, he turns over a new leaf in jail and I guess the story has a sort-of happy ending.

Oh and I realised that I cannot watch tv unless I force myself to sit down and watch it in the day because I have this urge to just stop watching whenever I finish my food. >.> Oh well

Today's alone time. I'm going to try and finish Servant of the Bones today! Haven't been reading it for a while. & I cannot wait for prom!

I hope the ring you gave to her turns her finger green
I hope when you're in bed with her
You think of me
I would never wish bad things but I don't wish you well
Could you tell
By the flames that burned your words

When I'm Gone

2007-11-21T00:43:00.000+08:00

Click Five: When I'm Gone

Dear love
Better sit down
Bad news
Get the word out
Accidents come with conclusions

I’m numb
On the asphalt
Don’t cry
Wasn’t your fault
I can’t feel
It’s just confusion
Keep on, keep on, keep on, when I’m gone

When the lights are out
Don’t be sad for long
When I’m gone
And the lights are out
I’ll be shining on
I’m just gonna let my life bleed on this letter
Let my song sing on forever
I’ll still love you when I’m gone

tear drops
paint the faces
despair
is contagious
dressed in black
clutching a red rose
hold on, hold on, hold on, my love goes on

When the lights are out
Don’t be sad for long
When I’m gone
And the lights are out
I’ll be shining on
I’m just gonna let my life bleed on this letter
Let my song sing on forever
I’ll still love you when I’m gone

When the lights are out
Don’t be sad for long
When I’m gone
And the lights are out
I’ll be shining on
I’m just gonna let my life bleed on this letter
Let my song sing on forever
I’ll still love you when I’m gone

When the lights are out
Don’t be sad for long
When I’m gone
And the lights are out
I’ll be shining on
I’m just gonna let my life bleed on this letter
Let me song sing on forever
I’ll still love you when I’m gone

2007-11-20T23:06:00.000+08:00

when there's a sense of realisation
it feels like a wave just swept through my whole body
cold and hot
and my fingers lose their sensation for a while
my sense heighten, and i literally feel blood gushing back into my fingers
giving me feeling again.

i wish it wouldn't
wish it'd stay that way forever
cold, numb; a nanosecond's worth of complete loss of sensation

one hour four minutes later, a complete different feeling
you should hear how i spit that word out with vehemence

It's A Blank

2007-11-20T20:54:00.000+08:00

WEEELLLL
Darney woke up early in the morning and came to my house. Watched part of this programme on the History Channel(it's quite cool) called Catacombs of Paris. It's freaking cool! It shows you the longest graveyard underneath the streets of Paris called the Empire of ___. I can't remember x=

but whatever, Paris is so cool!

Mom dropped Darney off at his house
We spent around an hour trying to find Bukit Gombak because my Mom missed a turn somewhere.
Walked around, got a new bag!
Ate dinner near my Mom's
Sent my sis and I home
chat chat chat
blog
chat chat chat
still blogging
chat chat
blogging, done.

Potential Breakup Song

2007-11-19T22:55:00.001+08:00

See See! I love the moving splattered brush effects!

http://youtube.com/watch?v=bqpA5Acc8-c

Work + Prom Shopping!

2007-11-19T20:56:00.000+08:00

My feet are aching so badly, it hurts even just letting them rest on the legs of my swivel chair. BUT, it's all worth it! No pain, no gain!

Morning, Mom fetched me and brought me to Srgoon to get my IC and Bank book photocopied for work. After which, she dropped me off at United Square(turns out Anna's working at Novena Square. Oh well) and then I took to walking around the place because [I think] I've never been there before. From across the level, I watched the chefs in Bakerzin already busying themselves in the kitchen and I was feeling quite scared. In the end, all that fear was for nothing because the people there are really friendly!

It was quite overwhelming at first but things got easier to grasp after I tried it out. In my whole shift, I toppled a cake over causing the strawberry on it to fall and I scalded my hand when I was holding the plate of spaghetti. Apparently getting scalded by the soup is termed as "da hong bao" there. Lmao.

So anyway, the cakes are delicious and if you haven't eaten anything there you could try the Macaroons(Soft and small little biscuits) that are freaking delicious! I tried one of them called Scarlet because the outer part of the biscuit was broken so it won't be sold. It's like this vanilla and raspberry and something something biscuit. Extremely delicious and PLEASE COME TO UNITED SQUARE(NOVENA) HAHAHA. Come and visit me or whatever and watch me embarrass myself when I get clumsy but I don't care! Just come and patronise the shop! xD

After work, headed over the Vivo. Waited for Darney at DG station. In the end, he got me a burger while I got him an eclair from Bakerzin! =D Stupid doofus kept using the burger to punch my face until even the wrapping for the burger tore. (idiot) Trained down to Vivo when he reached and then walked around in search of my prom dress. Showed him the Yam dresses and the Valerie dress, but I bought neither of them in the end.

The very nice Darney held my bag for me even though we both don't like it. He who does not fancy carrying a girl's bag(snoopy somemore) while I don't like it when guys carry a girl's bag. Especially those extremely feminine kind. But yeah, he was being sweet. Carrying it for me, to cheer me up when I got down. Like seriously down, I can't believe I started crying(well not the bawl-my-eyes-out kind, just got sort of teary) in the middle of a huge mall! But thank you Darney. =)

He who hates shopping, also walked through three shops with me and picking out the nice ones. Tangs, Forever 21 and Zara. =D

In the end, the most dresses I tried on were in Zara. I think I tried like 6 of them in total. Got myself a red colour tube dress with a sash! It's really pretty(i love it!) and it's $129 bucks so it's within my $130 budget! Hahaha. Gonna borrow a black shawl from my Mom and then match it with my black heels and the new cat necklace I got yesterday. And maybe with some bangles. Am I over-accessorising? But it doesn't feel like it. Actually, it doesn't matter.

Okay, I'm ending this super duper long post. Feet hurt, body's stinky. I GOTTA GO

distance heart
keep in a box
still; in the dark

Sinister

2007-11-18T23:33:00.000+08:00

the urge to be mean can be quite compelling sometimes.
but no, you gotta keep it in
don't rock the boat too much or it'll capsize.

Jelly Factory

2007-11-18T21:59:00.000+08:00

Well today's been a pretty long day, but it was fun! =D

Met SY & Glynoo on the train because they were darlings and waited for me at Potong Pasir station (I was kinda late). Headed over to Vivo with them to get a pair of Coduroy(sp?) pants for work and black shoes. Decided to go buy them kiasu-style instead of getting the converse shoes that had a bit of white here and there. So, we walked around the shoe shops but most of the shoes still had white and stuff so we settled for black shoes from Bata. Cheap, a little bit gross looking but still. It's only for a few months, I think I can deal. x=

OH YAH, I'M STARTING WORK TOMORROW! HAHAHA, THEY FINALLY CALLED ME. =DDD I CANNOT WAIT!

So, after that we got some food at BK and then walked around in search of our prom dress! Walked into three Valeries at three different locations and one Vanessa. So we walked Tangs, half of Vivo, Far East Plaza and Heeren. Ultimately, it's either the the $150 Daniel Yam dress or the $129 Valerie dress. Both are beeeyoootiful! BUT, I already asked my Dad for money to get the Valerie dress.

Oh yes, did I mention that it's the first time I'm wearing a size 4 shoe? It's so small! But then again, it's because of the huge-ass cutting. And Darney is freaky when he sleeps. He slept till 4pm today!

Got Jelly Beans from Candy Empire! I think the bottle shaped in a can is quite cute. And, I got myself a necklace and a crown ring from Far East. SY got the same design as mine, except hers is darker while Glynoo got herself this red coloured teddy bear ring. xD Here, I took a couple of pictures. I love my necklace and the more I look at it, the more I love it!

Took a bus to Heeren, walked around somemore and saw the third Valerie there. Saw a Vanessa as well. It's quite funny when people name their shops like that. When Glynoo went, "Valerie's over there." I nearly thought she meant the Valerie we know. That Cheekohkoh. x=

Walked until it was time for me to head home. Took a train, alighted at Braddell where my Mom picked me up and gave me a lift home. Visited my grandpa in the hospital a while after dinner, talked loads with my cousins. They're pretty cool! Haha

After that asked for the money from my Dad and here I am blogging.
Darney's angry. Don't be angry! =(

I just want you close
Where you can stay forever
You can be sure that it will only get better

Smile!

2007-11-18T00:36:00.001+08:00

it was a moment of truth
it was a moment of confession and confrontation
it was a moment of explanations to be understood and believed
it was a moment of tears
it is a moment of happiness

and now we're back to nonsensical arguments again.
i'm a happy girl tonight. =)

Fettered By Shackles

2007-11-17T20:37:00.000+08:00

Well, I guess today's a sort-of family day for my mom, sis, bro and me. Spent part of the day watching the MTV European Music Awards. =D I waited and watched a tad bit impatiently for Tokio Hotel to perform! Haha, in the end they were the closing act because of how water will come pouring down on them towards the ending of the song Monsoon. Watched it already on youtube, but the videos were of super duper poor quality.

Anyway, after that we headed over to PS for dinner at Thai Express and then walked around a little. I had quite a lot that I wanted to buy, but the mood died out after I tried the clothes. Might go prom shopping tomorrow, if my Dad gives me money. If not I'll just window shop for one before going there with my Dad to buy it. Oh yeah, I just remembered that Mom bought fbts for me, together with a matching sportswear top. It's pretty nice, white plus limegreen stripes at the side.

Walked around loads, and the x'mas deco in PS is beautiful at night. Especially when you stand at the top level. Pretty pretty. Like golden snow drops suspended in the air. Headed home after. X'mas deco on the roads were beautiful too. Especially the blue ones.

I'm tired. Maybe I'll go to the gym in the morning tomorrow. Or should I go now? I FEEL SO LAZY. Oh yeah, thank goodness my cough's getting better with all that excessive intake of pi pa gao. Guess it works.

hide behind a facade.
nobody can see; nobody can tell; nobody will know

Listen to No One by Alicia Keys. It's pretty nice

2007-11-15T22:34:00.000+08:00

never felt so alone.
how does it feel to be forced into a charade?

Barney Is A Dinosaur

2007-11-15T22:01:00.001+08:00

Darney came over to pass me more pi pa gao just now. >.> He couldn't stay for long but thanks anyway dear! =D

Your cue's in my hands, better not anger me before I let it take a free fall down four storeys over and over again. xD

Assaulted

2007-11-15T16:07:00.000+08:00

So, my mom fetched me today and then we headed to Heartland Mall after picking my brother up from school. Had part japanese part korean food for lunch. I was so full (and still am, actually) because my mom kept stuffing me with udon and rice. I remember calling udon, 'fat noodles' when I was younger. Haha, okay a little random.

Walked around a bit after that. I returned Pandora already. =( That makes me a little bit sad, but I was in such a messed up state I didn't really feel it until I realised that my bag was emptier because I already returned the book. Searched high and low for my brother after window shopping at This Fashion with my Mom.

Contrary to what people's opinions may be, I think This Fashion is quite a nice place to shop at. The clothes may consist of ''auntie'' and/or ''ah lian'' kind of clothes but apart from those there are pretty nice clothes and yes, the prices are definitely cheaper. I wanted to get a pair of shorts, but I wasn't really in the mood to spend money on shopping even though I wanted the shorts. In the end, I left the shop without buying anything while my Mom left it pretty happily with a new black top that's got layers upon layers. It does look nice, and quite fashionable.

So, found my brother afterwards. Mom wanted to get a new phone with her StarHub voucher but the colour of the model she wanted was out of stock. Boohoo. Walked around a little bit more, went to Cold Storage to get my shaving cream and then Mom fetched us home.

I was in such a foul mood today, that I kept snapping at my brother because he wouldn't stop bloody asking where we would be eating. I kept telling him, "If you want to eat so much, go toilet and eat shit." Hohoho

Oh, and I saw this top in This Fashion. Quite funny. It says "Je Suis Snob." Hahaha! That means "I am a snob." My mom said that I should get it because I turn into a snob when I'm angry. (really meh?) I only know that I can be a little bit snobbish and rude to people I don't like. X=

Anyway, I think my cough makes me feel annoyed because I don't think it's going away anytime near soon and I already drank a whole small bottle of that gross-tasting pi pa gao. This black thick gooey liquid. SO YUCK. And the thing is, I'll be starting work soon and I really don't want to end up working with a bad cough on my first day!

Plus, my lungs are feeling pretty weak from all the coughing that the different smells feel like acid when I inhale the air into my lungs. From the scent of freshly baked bread in Cold Storage, to the fragrance of Japanese/Korean food completed by the finishing mother of all perfumes: Smoke from the cigarettes. Heavenly, don't you think so?

My lungs felt like they were assaulted by different types of acids. I'm not exaggerating.

The Bones Of Woe

2007-11-15T10:18:00.000+08:00

golden are the bones of woe
skeleton holds skeleton
words of ghosts are not to know
ignorance is what we learn

Poem's by Stan Rice, husband of Anne Rice. This is only part of the poem, the stanza that I like best.

Night's been alright, I can't seem to sleep past 9. My cough seems to get nowhere near better, and the manager hasn't called yet! But I should relax because I have until Saturday. Yup, Saturday

I'm starting to watch quite a bit of The Ellen Degeneres Show and Ugly Betty. The former, played on two channels in the morning; the latter usually played late at night. Anyway, I don't think Ugly Betty's really very ugly. Just that the environment she works in makes her seem ugly. It's like how a person who is of average size, put with a bunch of size 2 girls, would seem fat.

Oh well =] I'm drowning my stomach with water so that cough better go away before I report for work(WHEN MY MANAGER CALLS). Ugh

Nanoseconds

2007-11-14T22:57:00.000+08:00

no, no. stop it
just don't care
erase it off your mind while you can

feelings can drain away so quickly

YES, A JOB!

2007-11-14T20:45:00.000+08:00

Omg, YAY!
I got job at Bakerzin! Hahaha =D My manager hasn't called yet and that is making me feel a little bit scared. What if I don't get hired?!

Okay, I should calm down
Maybe it's because Glynoo & Bird's manager already called them up. =(

Anyway, that memory card reader I bought a few days ago isn't working! What the hell okay, I spent 18bucks on that dumb shit and it is not working? If it wasn't dead it should die.

So, we met up at Hougang today. Since the rest of them were late, decided to go get Bird's ear studs with her. She ended up piercing her ear. Which is quite freaky because I think it's damn painful + scary and I'll need time to prepare myself for it. But that girl just went ahead and pierced her ear just because she felt like piercing it.

After Dory, Glynoo & SY arrived we walked around. We asked Gelare but the manager said that he was more interested in full-time workers. Pfft. Trained to PS, walked around a while. SY went to get her MP3 and stuff before we headed over to Vivo. Glynoo actually got a job at Thai Express but when all of us got our jobs at Bakerzin she decided to switch with us!

Downside would be that we're all split up. Bird (hah, I nearly typed Birdo cause of Glynoo's 'noo'. lmao) & Glynoo will be working at Paragon on different days. Dory'll be working at Vivo(Anna's working at Vivo's Giordano!) at which she already thinks that her manager hates her! Haha, paranoid fish. While SY & I will be working at United Square.

I can't wait to start but I'm quite scared!

I have a whole day, tomorrow, to gym and go heartland to return Pandora and buy some necessities before meeting Darney in the evening. =D

Did I mention that I put my blog's design as my wallpaper on my phone? Hahaha! Now I can look at Tom Kaulitz all day long! LOL

Oh, and I'm going to try getting that card reader to work again but what if my manager calls!

Ugh, Sore Throat

2007-11-14T10:12:00.000+08:00

I think I'm going to get a sore throat soon. And I just realised not long ago that it rained overnight! Been awake since 9am. I have no idea what I'm going to do for the next hour. Should I head out early and return Pandora to the bookshop and get nine dollars back or keep it because I want to?

I swear, one day when I'm rich enough I'll blow my money on all the Anne Rice books. I want all her books so I can read them all day. I've already read Queen of the Damned four times and it's the only Anne Rice book I own because Darney got it for me.

And I can't seem to find Interview With The Vampire or The Vampire Lestat anywhere! Does anyone know where I can get those two, or possibly lend me the books if you own them?

I want so badly to keep Pandora and Servant of the Bones(shall start reading on this one soon).
Ohwell.

your love has ensconced within my heart

2007-11-13T22:29:00.001+08:00

took a gamble; flipped a coin
fifty-fifty chance.
two hearts for stakes.

i can't lose

Dark Grey

2007-11-13T22:01:00.000+08:00

i guess getting angry isn't allowed when you're supposed to show what you're going to do to start fixing something that's broken

i really don't know what to say
apparently anything said will end up being misconstrued by either you or me

i asked a question
no more ambiguity please

ECP & Money

2007-11-13T20:23:00.000+08:00

It's been such a tiring day! My feet are aching and all I want to do now is soak them in a tub of iced water and read Pandora. I'm nearly finishing it already and I don't want to return the book to the damned bookshop! But I kind of need the 18bucks I'll get back if I return. X=

So, the POA MCQ paper was pretty easy but knowing my normal standard for MCQ I'm not holding high hopes for my POA at all. I'd rather pin them on my humanities.

Headed over to East Coast Park after that with Angela, Anna, Dory & SY. Bird joined us later on. Rented roller blades, taught Dory how to blade. Hahaha, she's a pretty fast learner! Except she's got this habit of bending(which is quite normal for beginners) so she ended up with a backache. LOL

Returned the blades after blading half of ECP, and two falls from Dory. LOL, Headed over to the beach and played with the sand. Watched the waves come and go, carrying the leaves and twigs and pushing the sand to and fro. The feeling of your feet sinking into the soft wet sand is pretty nice! But I hate what happens after. Your feet are wet and when you decide that you are done, you have to walk back with all the sand stuck onto your legs because of the water.

I think I got a little bit sunburned from all that exposure to the sun, but I like it. I like sunburns. =D

Sat on the beach with Angela under two umbrellas while the other three decided to go sit on the rocky platform. I hate going up and down that thing, it's quite scary. Walked to Macs after. It's damn shiok! All that air con..

Bird joined us, then we decided to go pool for an hour. It was pretty hilarious and Dory's a dangerous person when it comes to pooling. Oh yeah and I finally got a soft toy from that dumb machine! The one which you insert $1 and navigate the clutches to grab a soft toy except the soft toy always drops before it reaches the compartment to drop it into.

I got this cute turtle thingo from it. SY said that it's damn expensive if you buy it from Action City. Hah!

Cabbed down to PS with Bird, Dory & SY. We decided to go on an impromptu job hunt there. In the end, we filled up loads of application forms. Ben & Jerry's, Pastamania, Cafe Cartel, Secret Recipe and Thai Express. I think we overdid it but whatever. xD I just hope I get a job at either Ben & Jerry's, Secret Recipe or Thai Express.

Shall be job hunting again tomorrow!

My feet are aching and Pandora awaits me.

Picture Post

2007-11-12T20:45:00.000+08:00

And the long awaited picture post arrives! I'll be posting photos dating back to 2/11 till 9/11.

2nd Nov 07
Mom brought us to Boon Keng to eat steamboat so here are a few pictures we took on that day. Don't ask why, but I find it pretty fascinating, how the prawns change colour and it looked pretty cool when it's half-cooked.

Took a few photos here and there with/for my mom, sis and bro. My bro looks like a very unhappy chao ah beng. xD

6th Nov 07
Ai Ren decided to go crazy in Macs. She wrote stuff on the huge glass panes surrounding Macs because of the condensed vapour on it. If you can't see it properly it says, "Hello Charlotte." Did I mention that she's a little too obsessed over Ronald McDonald?

7th Nov 07
Outing with the Recess Gang. Took a few pictures here and there around Orchard. =D I still think the new Ipod Nano's damn cute. & there's this spastic statue thing of Jay Chou just outside Heeren and I still want a trouseilier(however it's spelt)

8th & 9th Nov 07
Lido with my family. Caught StarDust. Took two pictures with my sis. I think the one with my sister's head partially cut off is nicer. LOL And there's Candooo! Haha

12th Nov 07
No pictures for today. I spent like a hundred bucks today on quite a few things. First, my USB memory card reader! That's why I was about to upload the pictures and then bomb my phone with 200 songs. Got my headphones at the same time. I think they look damn cool(shiny and black) but I feel weird when I wear them. But NO. I'm not going to start feeling like I look like a freak with them on because I'm not going to blow anymore money away on headphones.

After that, I decided to go be stupid and walk into Sans Bookshop to find books. Maybe I should go work in a bookshop. Oh wait, I might be! Hahaha, Glynoo hasn't called Kino yet but we're thinking of working there. Shall be job hunting on Wednesday with Glynoo & SY. =D

So anyway, I went into the shop and I ended up renting two books by Anne Rice for 32bucks and bye bye. My money's all gone because I also gave fifteen bucks to SY for the shirt I bought at Cine. She lent me $$. I need a job. Job job job job.

Headed over to the pool parlour with Darney afterwards. He pooled while I read. Tuition afterwards, then home. My hands are itching to pick up the book and continue from where I left off but there's that damned MCQ paper tomorrow! ARGH!

East Coast with loads of people tomorrow. =D This is a pretty long post.

Urghhhhhhhh says (9:11 PM):
watch this video!! damn funny!
&/♠ every word, love. says (9:11 PM):
hahaha okay!
Urghhhhhhhh says (9:12 PM):
laugh until my pulmonary artery transport blood towards my heart can

SY AH SY. xD

Sinking Deeper

2007-11-12T09:19:00.000+08:00

One more day before my O's officially ends! I can't wait. =D

It's easy to believe your lies
but it's way harder to try and climb out of it

Test Tubes

2007-11-11T22:49:00.000+08:00

Don't think that they're only handy during science practicals. They are extremely handy even after the O'lvl practical because I've already successfully caught a spider and [right now] a bug that looks like a ladybug except it's not red but brown with black spots all over.

jeremy sougaijam is an idiot
he just pranked me into thinking some 70s song is an unreleased song from Click Five. DON'T ASK ME HOW

Grrrrrrrrrr
I'll get you back jemmo. =|

Anyway, I'm finally going to buy the stuff I need quite desperately tomorrow with Darney! =D Dad gave me some money. Which reminds me, I'll have to leave aside some money to repay Glynoo & SY.

I'm going to set the dumb bug free now. It keeps lying upside down even when I try to tilt it back up. Oh well

there we go again

4 In The Morning

2007-11-11T20:45:00.000+08:00

Stay up 'til four in the morning and the tears are pouring
And I wanna make it worth the fight
But what have we been doing for all this time
Baby if we’re gonna do it come and do it right

Withdrawal Symtoms

2007-11-11T18:48:00.000+08:00

Just relinked SY, and headed over to her new blog. If there's one thing I love about wordpress, it'll be the designs. Simple, but extremely nice. If there's one thing I hate, it'll be the codings. Freakishly complicated at a glance but from what SY said, it's actually very easy after you understand the codes.

I just cooped myself up in my room for the whole day. Head's feeling a little heavy from all the thoughts running through my mind. I'm caught in between, stuck and the cat got my tongue because I don't know what to say.

I know it is out of love, but it feels like a bribe somehow.

The line that is drawn from a piece of paper and a broken marriage. The harsh punishments you mete out for him compared to the non-violent yet firm approach she uses. What am I supposed to say, how am I going to say it and what am I supposed to do?

I want to tell you, what you have done and how wrong you are to solve the problem this way. I can see your love, your concern written all over your face. The weariness from taking care of all of us, but is it really right? Because the fear you've instilled into him is what's controlling him.

I could go to her but I'm guessing that you would think that we choose her over you and we'll be back to another square one. I could tell you, but would you really listen or would that pride of yours blind you? Too proud to listen to what a mere 16 year old has to say because it is right. The way you handle him is correct, but like she said. Where are the results? Has the harsher punishments helped at all?

The way I see it, you've traumatized him so badly he's so scared of you. You've silenced him with fear. You've taught him not to speak up because uttering another word would earn him a smack on the face. I hope you read this, because it's much harder to say it face to face. I'm a coward, and I don't know how to tell you otherwise.

He is so afraid of you he cries when we speak of how you punish him sometimes. This isn't what you want. I know you love him but he's so fearful of you, so hurt because the tough love approach has failed. It's failed completely and I wish you would see it very soon. You're hurting yourself as much as you're hurting your son.

Wake up. I know you love him. Show it to him.

And there comes you; into the big picture you go. What am I supposed to do to help you relieve the frustration that I cannot alleviate when you stubbornly refuse my offer to help?

Head's hurting.
Stomach's growling.
Feet's aching.

I want a final full-stop to this chapter.

New Skin

2007-11-11T13:24:00.000+08:00

I just spent half my morning making a new skin! It's been so long since I've made one. Now I'm quite tempted to change my blog's skin to that one but there's one factor that's stopping me from doing so: Tom Kaulitz! LOL

Oh well
I'm stuck at home today
Shall be job-hunting soon. I'm thinking of doing some MCQ questions from my POA TYS but I'm feeling lazy =(

My thighs are aching and so are my ankles. Pfft

Nevermind. Northen Lights; here I come!

P.S: Darney's a pig. I foresee that he'll be sleeping the whole of today(WAY TO GO)

it's ugly but it's not

Gym Time

2007-11-10T21:30:00.000+08:00

Well.
The world is spinning, so good job Charlotte. You're succeeded in running 4.5km, earning yourself a tomato-red face and a pair of stiff thighs.

Okay, I'll stop talking to myself. It feels weird typing my name. LOL
Yummy, a big red apple after a jog plus iced water. =D

I really want to upload the pictures I have on my phone! & do send me the pictures soon SY!

Neoprints taken at Cine with the recess gang. =D

I really like this picture for narcissistic reasons and because it's with Glynoo! =D Hahaha (Don't get jealous Ai Ren xD).

The photos I took with my Mom, Darney, Sis, Bro, SY and Candice are all nicely stuck inside my phone collecting a lot of phone-dust until I find a way to upload them all into my computer.

I know I run away a lot, from problems with the ones closest to my heart. I'm still at a loss now and every time I think of it I feel so lost. It's hard to find a way to string it all into words and finally find out what went so wrong between us all. Things get worse when I realise that I'm not very enthusiastic about fixing us because I feel like I never did anything wrong. But then I see myself pointing the finger at the others knowing that the rest of my fingers are pointing back to me.

We're all at fault but how can you fix something so easily. We didn't break a vase, we broke a friendship that we forged for three years and more. Can it really be mended so easily? I feel so skeptical about it and pessimism sets in.

Ah, think happy thoughts.

I'm starting to read Northern Lights by Philip Pullman. I want to refresh my memory of the story before I get to watch the movie. Except, the last part of the story(Amber Spyglass) is with my long-fired tuition teacher. It'll be pretty awkward if I ask it back. Especially when I was the one who caused her to be fired. X=

I Love My Layout

2007-11-10T19:15:00.000+08:00

Anyway, I'm quite disappointed with downtown east because they suck. First off, why the hell is the theme park closed on a friday when they mentioned that although they're closed on weekdays they'll be open on weekends, public holidays and school holidays? It's the bloody school holis and you're still closed!

Nevermind, my free voucher for it only expires on the 7th of Dec. xD Hopefully I'll go there some day with Darney and maybe go to the beach. We didn't get to go there last night because it started raining.

Also, because of the dirty dirty bedsheets from all the jumping and people on it plus my mom didn't bring her medication to the chalet, we all headed back to her house after that. Darney stayed over. =D

Headed over to his house after that, slept somemore till it was like 2-3 before heading over to the arcade at SuperBowl. I pwn his ass at fighting games! Until now, I still have no inkling as to what the functions are for each key. But it doesn't matter because I'm still good at it. xD

Which reminds me, Glynoo is so bloody good at DDR! LOL, and I suck at that drums game. I couldn't stop panicking and yeah -_-

Okay whatever. Arcade, Daytona, Pool, Home. Gym in half an hour's time. My routine must start tonight!

All For Show

2007-11-08T21:28:00.000+08:00

So I'm waiting for Saw IV to load for the third time, and while waiting I was at youtube and saw some promotional video with Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie in it. Don't bother to go look at it, because it's a total waste of your time. The video was stupid and it tells me how idiotic and no-life the paparazzi can get.

Seriously, the scoop they had was just that their car broke down and they decided to get out and say hello to their fans. That's it. Makes me think, "So what's the point?"

And then Brad Pitt reached someplace called Westwood Movie and he totally shrugged them off when they asked for an interview and that's when I started to think that actors have a pretty sad life. Well, not all, but for some of them I guess.

Imagine that you're an actor/actress and you totally hate the paparazzi but you can't be rude to them because the way I see it, they are your best friends who can also be the key to your downfall. And because of that you have to pretend in real life, that you're totally fine with them and you have to act like you're really happy to be interviewed when you really want to screw it all and relax for the day. And that's not all, because they'll hound you and monitor your every move and you still have to be really nice to them.

That's pretty sad, because you lose your privacy in exchange for all that money. Is it worth it?

Anyway, that movie that's coming soon: The Golden Compass is based on this three-part novel by Philip Pullman which I already read. I'm so going to watch it! The trailer looks cool. Hopefully this movie won't disappoint me. Stories based on books can be quite disappointing, especially when you've read the book first.

should i call you?

They Carry All The Blame

2007-11-08T19:46:00.000+08:00

I was supposed to be at the chalet today, but due to a few problems I'll only be heading to it today. Thinking about it makes me annoyed so I won't harp on it now.

Went to Lido today, to catch Stardust. It's a pretty good show! Some parts sounded kind of cliche and all but overall it's still pretty good. I ate at Pastamania again. I should be losing weight, not eating cheese T_T

Oh my, Ai Ren just told me this:

♥ Gayu; says (7:49 PM):
i got u a rose again
♥ Gayu; says (7:49 PM):
but this time, it wont ever wilt(:

Awww. I love you! Hahaha, makes me feel guilty for not getting you something for our date. =(

After the movie we were walking and stuff. I persuaded my Dad [successfully] to get me this snoopy tote bag. It's damn cute okay. xD I wanted to get the yellow one but it was too dull-looking.

Oh yes, you must have noticed the change of skin (because if you didn't you're freaking blind). Made it today, early afternoon! xD I think my skins change according to my current preferences and likes and/or adorations. Like for example, Tom Kaulitz! LOL

And I realised that band skins look best in dark grey and pastel-coloured colour themes. Okay, a bit random

Cheekohkoh just called me crazy on MSN for nothing. Bo liao shithead. xD
Mon Cher's really angry with his computer, if he were any more violent I think he would have hurled his computer out the window. Thank goodness he isn't because that wouldn't be a pretty sight.
One last thing: My Dad actually didn't want to get me the snoopy tote bag because he thinks that 20bucks isn't worth it for me to use it and advertise for snoopy. xD What a weird reason!

Okay, I'm ending this post. Cheekohkoh's starting to get all freaky at the mention of my brother.

Streets Turn Into Graves

2007-11-08T09:42:00.000+08:00

Tokio Hotel: Forgotten Children

Just a normal day
Streets turn into graves
Traces have been removed
The search was disapproved
So cold the night
The weak ones lose the fight
Too many of them out there
Noone seems to care

Lost and so alone
Born but never known
Left all on their own
Forgotten children
We'll never hear a name
They carry all the blame
Too young to break the chains
Forgotten children

They see, they feel, believe
Just like we do
They're laughing, and crying
Wanna live here
Like me and you

Eyes without light
Too tired of good-byes
Never felt embraced
And frightened of every face
A life in disguise
Hope forever died

Lost and so alone
Born but never known
Left all on their own
Forgotten children
We'll never hear a name
They carry all the blame
Too young to break the chains
Forgotten children

They see, they feel, believe
Just like we do
The're laughing and crying
Wanna live here
Like me and you

It shouldn't really be that way
It shouldn't really be that way

We see, we feel, believe
Just like you
We're laughing and crying
Wanna live here
We see, we feel, believe
Just like you
We're laughing and crying
Wanna live here
Just like you

Drastic, Overwhelming

2007-11-07T22:54:00.000+08:00

Life's an irony. You'd always find that you have the hardest time getting the things you want the most compared to how easily you would be able to get the things you want the least. Part of Murphy's Law too, I suppose. The more the want it, the more you won't get it.

Tokio Hotel's album's great. =D I think I'm going to play it throughout the night tonight. I want their merchandise, I want Sam&Fuzzy tees, I want more Stitch tees, I want more.

So many clothes, ~~so little~~ no money at all.
lmao

Well, night people. Chalet tomorrow!

this used to be our secret

Schrei!

2007-11-07T20:47:00.000+08:00

That's Scream in German! xD I FINALLY GOT MY TOKIO HOTEL CD! It was a close call okay! I managed to grab the 2nd last album sitting on the shelves at HMV!

AHHHHHHHHHHHHH, TOM KAULITZ! HAHAHA

I think I kind of shocked Candice because she was talking to me halfway when I was scanning the shelves for their album and when I spotted it I grabbed it and started jumping and squealing(like a bimbo >.>) and then running and jumping when I told Glynoo & SY that I found it! Hahaha

I love them that much. =D Still haven't opened it yet. I'm kind of trying to savour my dinner first because all walk no food makes Charlotte a hungry girl. Today's been really fun!

Ear-piercing session at The Bluez or something at Hougang Mall with Anna, Angela, Candice, Glynoo, SY & Siangying. Stayed there for quite a long time, talking and stuff with the person working there because he was giving us loads of advice and talking to us about how the lower sec in our school always gets their ears pierced there and part of his love life and what some of his friends do. For example, they talk about this: "Eh do you wanna go get a Masters Degree together?"

That's pretty crazy, how they treat education as a past-time of sorts. Haha

After the ear-piercing, we headed to Cineleisure. Ate at Pastmania. The Alfredo was yummy! =D Took neoprints, walked around for a while. There's this gadget shop at the fourth floor if I'm not wrong. It's damn cool! The removable laptop skins they sell there are incredibly well-designed. I couldn't stop staring at them in awe. Makes me want to be that good a designer too! Haha

After that we started obsessing over the Ipods. My new Ipod target: the new Ipod Nano. I think I need more than 4 GB but I think I can deal with it if I run out of space. I'll just make sure Tokio Hotel's stored inside it. X= Played with the touchscreen Ipod. It's pretty cool! Except, I don't really fancy gadgets that are touchscreen. Cool, but expensive and not very safe to carry around.

Headed over to HMV, got our CDs, fussed over singers and whatnots before heading back to Cine for our movie: The Game Plan. It's quite touching! Hahaha, someone sniffed so loudly at one scene that it was so hilarious. But that's not the most hilarious because I saw Candice Ho Min Zhen's face covered with her tears that glistened from the screen's light reflection. xD Bought myself a shirt on credit(thanks SY!) from the Stitch stall just at the entrance of Cine. It says "Drop Acids Not Bombs". I haven't tried it yet, hopefully it'll fit!

Okay, an ant just drowned.

Walked to Orchard MRT station and then headed home. I spent all my money and I'm left with 50cents. Excluding, the money I owe Glynoo & SY. I'm so broke. I need a job badly now or my Dad won't give me the money I need to spend. Speaking of which, why is it that my curfew is SO EARLY? Usually 5pm already shitty enough, now during the holidays it turns into 6.30pm? What the hell okay, it's not like I expect you to let me stay out until midnight(not that I'd mind) but HELLO? 6.30's still way too early for a curfew. Blah

Forget it
Not like I can do anything anyway. Apparently 6.30pm's too late in your opinion.

Blah.
I'm gonna finish the rest of my dinner

It's Quite Unfair

2007-11-06T22:19:00.000+08:00

omg okay freak shit. read this

[35] Glynnis(: TOMA.<3 says (10:20 PM):
Yeh we actually have two sides - good and evil like macbeth!
&/♠ got me ten feet off the ground says (10:20 PM):
THE STRUGGLE
&/♠ got me ten feet off the ground says (10:20 PM):
HAHAHA
&/♠ got me ten feet off the ground says (10:21 PM):
TO WHAT EXTENT DOES THE PLAY SHOW THAT EVIL TRIUMPHS OVER GOOD.
&/♠ got me ten feet off the ground says (10:21 PM):
Show, with close reference to the play
&/♠ got me ten feet off the ground says (10:21 PM):
LMAO.
&/♠ got me ten feet off the ground says (10:21 PM):
I REMEMBERED THE DUMB QUESTION!
[35] Glynnis(: TOMA.<3 says (10:21 PM):
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAA stupid macbeth
[35] Glynnis(: TOMA.<3 says (10:22 PM):
But then we don't murder people hahhaa but if I could the first person I'd murder is BIG BIRD.

It's official. My brain is screwed upside down. I actually managed to remember the Macbeth question I attempted! T_T This is bad, I never remember questions! AHHH, GO AWAY GO AWAY!

Look at how murderous dear Glynoo can get. Tsk xD And our conversation's getting more insane. Something about Candice kidnapping the real hard gay and pretending to be Hard Gay himself. xD (If you know who Hard Gay is in the first place, if not you're just living in your own world or something. Okay, kidding.)

Anyway! I just found out that Candice Ho was right about Saw IV! It's rated a bloody R21! (literally) I mean, duh Saw's all about blood and gore all over the place.

BUT STILLLL. I kind of wanted Saw to be my first NC16 movie, but NOOOOOOOO they just had to change the dumb rating! Ugh okay, I can't wait for tomorrow!

Hopefully Tokio Hotel's album can be found in HMV. =DD

Meh, It's Supposed To Be Over Today

2007-11-06T19:15:00.000+08:00

I'm a happy girl now! LOL, Well almost-happy. I still have to wait an entire week for my POA MCQ Paper but what does that matter now? Outing tomorrow, movie, chalet the day after(who wants to come?), ear piercing after the chalet or something and date with Ai Ren! =DD

So I'll just count it as the O's are over!! HAHAHA

I can't wait to go out and have fun and lose weight for Prom!

I think the most ironic thing now is that I don't feel like blogging.

Accidentally In Love

2007-11-05T22:38:00.000+08:00

You have to listen to this song! I was searching for Tokio Hotel songs and found this by chance! It's a pretty good song. I love the lyrics too. Listen and read!

Anastacia: Pieces Of A Dream

I thought I saw you late last night
But it was just a flash of light
An angel passing
But I remember yesterday
Life before you went away
And we were laughing
We had hope and now it's broken

And I could see it clearly once
When you were here with me
And now somehow all that's left are
Pieces of a dream

And now I'm lost in restless nights
Just a whisper of the life
That we created
Shadows falling
I am calling

And I could see it clearly once
When you were here with me
And now somehow all that's left are
Pieces of a ...

The faded photographs
The frames of broken glass
The shattered memories
Time will soon erase
All these souvenirs
Falls from a thousand tears
But when I wake up you are never there

We had hope and now it's broken

And I could see it clearly once
When you were here with me
And now somehow all that's left are
Pieces of a ...

And I could see it clearly once
When you were here with me
And now somehow all that's left are
Pieces of a dream

Pieces of a dream..

Actually, she kind of sounds like she has sinus or constipation as some parts but I still think the song's nice. =D

Let Go

2007-11-05T21:03:00.000+08:00

It's funny how your fear is always your undoing. When you fear losing something so badly, it is often because of the fear that turns into actions which you unintentionally or intentionally make, that causes you to lose that one thing you can't afford to lose.

Everything exists for a reason, and as much as I hate fearing so badly, I think that fear teaches a person the right way to hold onto something properly.

Hopefully it's not too late, because it's a lie when people say that "it's never too late". You can have "it's not too late", "you can still turn back" but you can't have 'never' in the phrase. Yet ironically, I believe in love that lasts forever.

it's the end of the rainbow, and i see no pot of gold
but that's okay.